Love
In our world today, Love is a word that is used more commonly than any other. It is thought of to the point of obsession by nearly all mankind, yet how many people truly understand what love is? When I look around the world I see some acts done with love, but my overwhelming sense is that most acts are done out of insecurity, fear and selfishness. How can it be that as a society we talk of nothing but love yet still fail to act in a loving way to one another? We know deep down to our core that love exists and that we have experienced it. Even if it only lasted the briefest of seconds, once it has been experienced it is never forgotten and forever sought after. So what is Love?
Before we try to understand what love is, perhaps we should discuss in more depth what it is not. Love is not an emotion. Emotions are impermanent and tightly linked to the ego. Emotions quickly change as new information becomes available and is processed. The most powerful emotions tend to spring forth when you have the least understanding about a situation. Love, however, is a constant that starts as just a hint and grows only if it is nurtured. Love is the root of all emotions, not the other way around. When we truly look at the emotions we will see that none of them would exist without first experiencing love. Anger exists when something we love is threatened. Hatred exists when something we love is taken from us. Hope exists when something we love begins to take shape. Happiness exists when something we love is present. But all forms of emotion first require love to exist.
Love is not desire, for desire is a selfish act. Desire is looking at a person to see what you can get from them to further your own needs. Often desire is rooted in lust, but it can come from other needs as well. We also desire a sense of security, a better life, someone to nurture, or someone we can walk all over. But in the end all of these desires come from a sense of emptiness inside that needs to be filled. Love is looking at a person to see what you can give to them to help them along their journey. It pours out of you when you see an opportunity to improve another’s life, so it cannot be desire.
Love is not passion, for passion is an uncontrolled fervour. Passion is looking at a person through a lens and only seeing the aspects of them that we are interested in seeing. It places a person on a pedestal. It is an overwhelmingly emotional experience, which leads it to be easily confused with love. Its flames burn out quickly as your delusions about the other person become apparent, though. All of a sudden they cannot compare to the perfect partner you have created in your passion. There is no truth in passion, so it cannot be love
Finally, love is not sex, for sex is merely a physical act, albeit one which results in the formation of life. Sex is a powerful, emotionally connecting moment between two people and can certainly result in an experience of love, but it is equally a powerful tool for destruction and pain. Sex can certainly exist without love, as love can exist without sex. In fact most of the loving relationships in our lives have zero sexuality. Family, friends, pets all exist in your life quite lovingly without sex. Yet there is a very strong sentiment that your sexual partner is the ‘True Love’ in your life. I disagree. There is simply so much stigma attached to sex that culture dictates we engage in it with a single person for the majority of our lives. But how natural is this practice? Now when you stop feeling sexually attracted to your partner you assume that you no longer love them. It may not even be true that you have stopped being sexually attracted to your current partner, it is more likely that you are simply attracted to another person as well. Perhaps you are just acting like every other animal in nature and exploring your sexuality with multiple partners. Why does this mean that your loving relationship with your current partner has to end? We feel betrayed when our lover shows interest in another sexually, yet how many of us can say that we never do the same? Until we can accept the reality of our sexuality, we will continue to confuse it with love.
So what is Love? When have we experienced it in the past? How can we recognize it in the future? We must remember that love is simply an interaction. Love is the sharing of a powerful experience between two or more souls that leads to truth. Love is walking down a dirt path on a fall day. The air is crisp, but your jacket is cozy. The leaves are turning beautiful shades of yellow and red. Coming towards you on the path is a father with his two year old daughter on his shoulders, piggy-backing. As they bounce past the daughter looks you straight in the eyes and lets out a loud screech of laughter, her face exploding into a toothy smile as yours does the same. A chuckle bursts from your lips as your eyes descend to the father’s and you see his face aglow as well. The feeling that washes over all of you at that moment; that is love. The connection made with the laughing child and her father, two strangers who you will most likely never meet again, is a moment you will remember. The child has seen that an enthusiastic laugh and smile will bring the same out in a stranger, the father has seen how the innocence of a child can bring together previously unknown people and you have learned to appreciate every bounce along the path of life. All three have grown, all three have participated in a beautiful moment. All three have loved.
If we want to enter a realm of higher thinking, in an attempt to break love down into its simplest form, then I would imagine the definition for love would be that it is. I think you will find upon deep introspection and analysis of the experiences in your life that they all break down to variations of the same thing: Love. The confusion in our assessment of love, I am convinced, is simply one of misplaced labelling when one experiences a connection to love. Love is the lesson. It is the core, the root, the essence. All things in our solar system arise from infinite, minute variations upon the same theme: Love. Because love is it, when we catch a glimpse of it we become filled with a sense of awe, wonder and happiness. But this is also where the confusion enters. For we associate the emotions of happiness and bliss that arise from love as being love, but this is not the case. Love is the lesson, learned. Love is what arises when another step down the path towards Truth has been taken.
Many people go through life looking for ‘the One’ that they will fall in love with and live with in eternal bliss. This mindset, that there is only one person out there in the midst of six billion who can satisfy you and make you complete, is one of gross ignorance. By thinking in this way we set ourselves the task of searching for love, or worse still, waiting for love. In both cases, when someone does meet another person that they have a close connection to, instead of nurturing their shared happiness, each person begins to categorize their partner. In an attempt to decide whether or not this person is ‘the One’ they rate various attributes about their partner, judging and measuring them against their own lifestyle. Never making compromises, but instead seeing how the other person fits into their rigid idea of the perfect relationship. The problem with this way of thinking is that no one will ever fit, and no partner will ever be ‘the One’ because no person is perfect. We all have bad habits and imperfections. But if we are constantly critiquing our partners we are sure to notice every imperfection. And with time these imperfections will begin to grate upon our nerves. Our original feeling of love towards this person is being replaced by annoyance. Perhaps, also, because our original feeling of love was actually lust, which wears off relatively quickly. All in all our relationship is doomed to failure because we are waiting for love to happen, or searching for love so furiously that we instead uncover all our lover’s imperfections.
How can this be avoided? Wise men have said that love can be found between any two people, and I tend to agree. All that must be remembered is that love is not something that arrives, or something that needs to be found. Love is something that is created. When two people who share something special decide that they want to engage in a loving relationship and they make the effort together to create love between one another, then it cannot fail. But both parties must understand that love is a journey with ups and downs. Love is multi-faceted and is expressed in many ways, some unpleasant, but all of which need to be experienced. The ‘perfect’ relationship is one where two souls are content to share the majority of their experiences in this life together, so they can compare notes, reminisce about past shared experiences and learn from one another as they grow.
True love is about balance. It would also seem that love it tightly linked to emotion. Whenever we experience love we are filled with emotions, be they good or bad. Perhaps the proper way to achieve love is to balance our emotions. If we are able to express our emotions in a way that perpetuates love, rather than impeding it, then we will be in a position to love infinitely. Love is infinite. In order to ever experience this, however, we must first balance our emotions.
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Okay, I got chills perusing this; I will come back and reread this post again on love as it really resonates with me! Thank you for the wisdom of your heart. You are of a few who truly understand love! But, I see that there is more awareness of love in the world! The numbers are growing as more and more people become love for each other. It is beautiful! Love and blessings. ♥
Thank you for your beautiful words.
I believe it is true. My words are more of a memory than a thought. There are many awakening to a new Truth at the current time. That is what the Alternate Economy is all about.
I just wrote about love a minute ago! What a coincidence! You hold some of the same values as I do! Its great to know that someone out there appreciates the true meaning of love. I was beginning to lose hope! Thank you for the follow as well!
Love,
Blithe M.
There is a new awareness spreading. We are not alone! Do not give up. I have found 100 people like us in just one week.
I think this post is absolutely amazing. I was glued to every word. Trying to explain the unexplainable. One of my favorite posts ever!
Thank you so much! I hope the rest of my blog makes you feel the same. Most of the posts are on the same line, talking about how best to love.
agreed. balance is indeed very important. we can’t always be happy at all times, and we can’t always be unhappy at all times. moderation in everything basically balances a person out. i remember a moment at work, when i was just casually talking to someone as i was preparing something and she casually helped me out without me asking her or thinking about having her help me in my task. i was very surprised! it was that unexpected and yet it was an act that i appreciated very much. that feeling of gratitude is a moment i would equate with the ‘Love’ that you describe. =)
A very nice story. As i said, love is what pours out of us when we see a chance to help another along their path. I look forward to hearing more from you!
Interesting take on love. There is more. hugs, pat
Or is there less?
I am pleased to pass The Candle Lighter Award to The Alternate Economy. The thoughts expressed in your writing brings the light of hope and positive change. You may read about the award at growthlines.wordpress.com.
Thank you so much for this honour. I will put a link up to your site.
Regarding love and its significance, there is much more, Tristan. Think, really think about this because you are on the right track but there are more layers. Ask for help; it will come. hugs, pat
Hey Pat. I love your comments, but this love post is a reposting. It is old. I wrote it at the very beginning. Look at the About page and you will see the reason there is more is that the essay is part 2 of a series of 16. The next one is emotion.
Thanks, Tristan, I will read the others. hugs, pat
I still think there is more I need to touch on, but it may not be quite the same ‘more’ as if you thought this was written since our conversations. It was written before…
The subject of love energy is critical, inexhaustible in the exploration of what it is, our relationship to it, how it can be used, how it has been used in the past. If I think about it as a spiritual issue, it expands who I am beyond my comprehension, yet I know that I am learning all the time about the power of this love energy to fulfill our destinies. Now I am thinking about the possibility of us using this energy in the material world. Energy is all around us, free energy that does not pollute. According to the documentary, Thrive, there exists the technology to capture and use this energy, thus eliminating the need for Earth to supply this resource. Energy exists, the purest of which is the energy of love. What if we could harvest this energy and use it to light our homes, run our cars, etc.? What if we can generate it when we need it through loving actions, singing, etc.? Ah, so much to think about. We are limited only by our courage to dream, to think and then to act. Think I’ll take a walk in the floresta and ponder some more. 🙂 hugs, pat
Wow. I like it Pat.
It is true, love is an energy. It flows from one person to another. To harness the energy of love to light our homes… A start would be to allow the light within you to become visible. If you yourself were a walking “torch”, your home would need little lighting.
Beautiful blog, I thoroughly enjoy your insights to the driving forces and emotions in this world. Will definitely be back for more. Thank you for stopping by our humble blog 🙂
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Great site Tristan wonderful thoughtful ideas. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. How do you change the world? One person at a time. The likes of your site can start the ball rolling, good work
Reblogged this on mechirenee and commented:
I have always wanted to know what love is, this is an excellent definition.
This site really lifted my spirits, and I will be back to visit again. Thank you for enjoying my blog as well.
I look forward to hearing more from you!
love is can not be described, it have no meaning because we can only feel it..
Nice post, keep it up 🙂
Beautiful.. Just what the world needs to know as our true foundation
You have really defined love in best possible way…I will read more of your thoughts again. Thanks for a wonderful post.
Thank you for the supportive comments
Nice article. Only a few points of discussion.
1. I do not agree that “passion is an uncontrolled fervour”. It can be, though. But the way I view it, passion is what drives a person—in ways you suggest as well as in ways that can better our own lives or the lives of others. For example, Dannion Brinkley, who has died three times, twice by lightning, has a passion to assist dying people into the next world, so they do not fear that unknown. He has developed a network of thousands to assist him in that passion. His passion is enthusiastic but very much under control. The same can be said for thousands, if not millions, of people who have passions to serve others.
2. I agree that love is not an emotion, although it is nearly impossible to convince the average person that this is so. And it is equally nearly impossible to accurately describe just what this kind of love actually is.
3. Love enhances sexuality. Love welds two people together in all areas of life, including sexuality. Sexuality is very limited in the context of this kind of love.
4. You are rather cynical in the other aspects of sexuality you discuss.
5. Love is not an experience. It is a state of being. While you likely do not agree with the following source, the Bible states that God is love. Therefore, love is the highest state of being there is. It cannot be achieved without God being evident in one’s life. It must be stated here that the use of the word God is a very narrowly defined usage of what God really is, which cannot be gone into in this short bit.
6. You say that love is not an emotion, but then you say, “The feeling that washes over all of you at that moment; that is love.” You need to make up your mind. 🙂
7. I don’t even believe that love is a verb, as in, “I love you.” As I said, love is a state of being. You can express that state by saying such things as “I love you,” but love is more perfectly expressed in the things you do than in the things you say.
8. I believe love is a vibration. In fact, I believe love is the all-encompassing vibration of the entire universe. I believe love is what holds the universe together.
9. Many are the substitutes the world uses for love: you mentioned lust. To that I add need, as in, “I need you; therefore I love you.” The problem with any of these and other substitutes is that when the the need or the lust is gone, so is the “love”.
10. Love doesn’t come and go as our moods and feelings change. Love is constant, regardless of circumstances. Worldly love, in whatever form it takes, is transitory, dependent on one’s current emotional state.
11. One doesn’t fall in and out of love. That’s the false emotion of love speaking. Love is ever present. We just have to tap into it. And that’s a whole ‘nother discussion.
Happy days to you!
Hi Cris,
Thanks for this comment. There are many good points here, but I still maintain that Love is not an emotion. It is the source of all emotion, good and bad. The reason we associate good emotions as being Love, is simply a product of mislabelling and a poor understanding of emotion. When I say “The feeling that washes over all of you at that moment; that is love” I am not contradicting myself. I am saying that Love is not one of the Emotions, but rather all Emotions come from Love. Love is the source, not the feeling. Each individual has a different feeling wash over them, but it is still Love for all three.
Love is not just an experience. It is experience. For Love to be present it must be created through experience.
Note above:
“2. I agree that love is not an emotion.” I wasn’t arguing with you about love being or not being an emotion.
You’re saying that love is not an emotion, yet it is a feeling. That is like saying A=B and B=C, but A does not=C. Emotions are expressed through feelings. Feelings are expressed through emotions.
I also maintain that love cannot be created through experience. It can only be given and received. As love is the essence of the universe, it can neither be created nor destroyed. One obtains love from someone who already possesses love. One doesn’t just create it out of thin air. It is the very essence of the zero point energy field, I believe, and the ZPE field can neither be created nor destroyed.