In our world today, this one aspect of love is the least understood and the least trusted. How could someone still love me if I break their trust. If I lie to them and cheat? If I look at others with desire? If I abuse them and ignore them and hurt their feelings? How could anyone still love me after all of that?
Unconditional love is rare, I will not deny that, but it does exist. Unconditional love is not something that we earn, however. Unconditional love arrives when the person engaging in it comes to a realization. The person engaging in unconditional love realizes that they love themself. They realize that they are good, they are easy to get along with and that they are beautiful. So they extend their love in a way so that it is always coming, always given freely and always given to everyone.
Unconditional love does not require the person being loved to live in love. It requires the person doing the loving to live in love. When the person doing the loving lives in love, they are confident in themselves and in their capacity to love. So they do not take offense when someone they love makes a mistake. They see it for what it is; a mistake. When we are love, we cannot be hurt by something so small as a mistake. No matter how large that mistake may seem. For all mistakes are in fact lessons. When we are love we grow stronger with every mistake, because we are able to learn through awareness of the cause and effect of our contributions to our loved ones mistakes. We are all connected and it takes two to tango. If our loved one makes a mistake, we are there to help them through it, no matter what it is.
Unconditional love is simply that; love without any conditions. It is true love. There is, in fact, no other kind of love. Desire, and passion and lust are not true forms of love. They imply a dependence on our lover. Unconditional love implies that we are a continuous source of support for our lover. If they need a shoulder to cry on, we provide it. If they need an ear to bitch into, we provide that. If they need some space, we will give them space. If they need something new, we will go looking for it together. If they need to try other lovers, we will allow them to. If they need a hug, we will give them one. When we live in love and are able to love unconditionally, we see that it is not about what we need. What do we need, really? We need more love. When we are love, that is all we really desire. More love. In order for us to increase the love in our life, we must be willing to provide whatever our lover needs. We undersatnd that by giving our love freely we will receive it infinitely. Love is not exclusive. It is very much inclusive. If our lover needs us, we are they. If our lover needs us to wait, we will do that too.
But why? Why allow our lover everything? How does that benefit us in the end? In the end we realize that we do not have just the one lover anymore. In our world today, lovers come into our lives for periods of time. They enter your life in a swirl of emotion and the beginning is always exciting. It is a new love and we want to investigate it. In our world today, when this initial excitement wears off, often times the lover leaves our lives again in another swirl of emotion, this time usually negative. Imagine now if in your life you only had lovers entering it, and never leaving. Imagine if you had a collection of lovers, and added to it throughout time. Once we love unconditionally, we are able to forgive our lover any transgression. They can lie to us, and cheat on us and ask us to disappear forever. But when we love unconditionally we know that emotions are not permanent. But love is. Emotions change through time. Maybe it will take a month for your lover to cool off. Maybe a year. Maybe ten years. But eventually the emotions will fade away and be forgotten. Love does not fade away. When we live in love we know that eventually our lover will forget their negative emotions. Assuming we continuously extend our love, they will eventually return it.
But in the meantime we meet more people and create more love. We are love, so we have no problem finding it. While our lover is off “finding themselves” we are content to do the same. We take on new lovers and start the cycle over again, all the while extending love to our previous lovers regardless of our success. Eventually, through time, we will develop a collection of lovers. Not all of them will return to us. But some will. And the ones that do will most likely be the ones that are now able to live in love and love unconditionally as well. By never giving up on our lovers, we ensure that we never close the door. Maybe our lover will choose never to step back through that door. But maybe they will. And when they do, we will be one lover richer. Because we have not spent the time in betwen pinning for our lover. We have spent it investing in even more love with others. Love is everyone’s. And we know it. When we extend our love to our previous lover, it is not in the attempt to return to something old. It is in the attempt to create something new. If our lover wishes to return to us, they will have to accept that we have found new lovers along the way. But they will come to understand that when we love unconditionally we do not love any one person more than any other. We love all of our loved ones equally.
I have used the word lover, because I speak of love, but I hope you understand what I mean by this word. A lover is someone we share our love with, not our bodies. Sometimes sharing our love means sharing our body, when our lover feels like sharing themselves that way. When we are love, we are confident in our body and willing to share it with anyone who does not abuse it. But when we are love we also know that having a lover does not mean we need to share our bodies with them. We can have many lovers at once and share our bodies with the ones that are comfortable with that, and keep our bodies to ourselves when we are with the lovers that are not comfortable with that. When we love unconditionally, we are happy either way. We are looking for love, not physical contact. That is why we can balance many lovers at once. Because we only share our bodies with the ones who want us to, yet we share our love with all.
In conclusion, if you are loved unconditionally, it is not because of something you did or because the person loving you thinks you are superior to the other lovers in their life. If you are loved unconditionally it is because you are incredibly lucky to have met someone who lives in love.