When giving creates more …………..
I am re-posting this, something I wrote several months ago. I’m re-publishing it because: This issue is still very present for me. I said it fairly well previously. It is still true!!
I will add this to it though: This is a gift of love, of my increasing ability to love. As my sense of ‘self’ blossoms to include more beings outside of my immediate circle — to include everyone, really — I’ve learned that love is really much easier than I thought. Rather than diminishing as it’s served up to another, the way a pie would, for example, it actually gets BIGGER. There’s actually MORE.
Love feeds. Maybe that’s the Miracle of the Loaves & Fishes ………….
In my journey toward Bodhisattva-hood, I am ever-seeking to become more “mindful,” & to have a working understanding of this concept beyond that of mere words. And, gradually, grueling-ly, I am coming to appreciate what it means to Be Here Now, to stay in The Present Moment ………. which head butts me right into the struggle with THIS aspect of “mindfulness” being in this moment, WITHOUT JUDGMENT of it.
Being judgmental has long been
a failing a habit of mine, one which I used to think protected me from becoming like all “those others”, from whom I wanted to disassociate. How laughable, really, as the boundary I erected – thinking it a protective fortress – was much more of a prison. Always judging others & endlessly defining those things that made me different from them, created a mental, social, spiritual limitation which only strengthened the divisions between myself & others. This lifelong habit held me more fully captive of the essential delusion: that of separateness. Now that I know of – & reach for – inclusion, oneness, unity I can more clearly see that giving up that ever-critical, always judgmental part of myself is a real gift to others, as well as to myself, my growth, my spiritual transformation. If only others could KNOW of my great generosity, hahahaha, that I am trying to embody one of the Paramitas, those Perfections which will take me across the great ocean of samsara. Alas, it is perhaps a silent gift, one for which few will be grateful – I mean, how often DO we notice the ‘virtue of omission’, as opposed to the ‘sin of commission’?
Anyway, through one of those lovely little sparks of inspiration that comes from who-know-where, I’ve developed this little tool, for staying in THIS moment, without judgment – of myself, or of others I am learning to say: “I’m here now.” In this compact, & very rich, little sentence there is no room for excuses, or even for explanations, which hold me in the past. Whatever transpired before serves only as that-which-brought-me-to-this-now. And there is no worry, thrusting me into the future, thus no tension or fear about what-may-come, or what-may-not-come. There is only me, right here, right now – attentive, alert, present, nothing else. “I’m here now” is lightweight, as the burden of anger or regret dissolves ……. “I’m here now” is fresh, as expectations have no place in the free clarity of This Moment. “I’m here now” will help me become more sane.
“I’m here now” ………. nothing else, no thing else ……. no thing ….
And this too: My realization that my past & future are nothing compared to my present moment —>> is also true of YOURS. “You are here now.” It’s the truth. A small, enduring truth. ”We are here, now.” And that is all that matters, for every possibility exists within that ………..