Living in Love Award: Submission: What is Love?
Another submission for the Living in Love Award! There are now 3 bloggers in the running for this award. The newest submission comes again from Now is the Beginning. The second step to earning the Award is Defining Love for your readers and blogging about it. Please check out Now is the Beginning blog, for her second submission.
I’ve asked myself this question many times, as I’m sure many people have. Everyone experiences love differently, I believe. Some parents show their love by overly protecting their precious children. Some parents show their love by leaving their kids in jail for a night when they screw up just to teach them a lesson (Hub learned that the hard way.) Some parents make their children text or call them every time they get where they’re going. Other parents don’t give a shit what their children do, but those aren’t the kind of people I’m talking about.
Some girlfriends (or wives) show their love by leaving notes for their boyfriend (or husband.) Some men send roses to their girls on their birthdays or Mother’s Day (if they have children) or just randomly to show how much they care. Some just give them cards with something special written inside (despite the obvious embarrassment they get from having done so.)
Hub claims to not be sentimental. “I have memories,” he says. “I don’t need things to remember all the good times in my life.” While reorganizing our bedroom yesterday, I came across a small box Hub kept in his side of the bed. Some papers were sticking out and getting destroyed, so I opened it to shove them back inside. When I opened it, I realized the note on the top was a note I wrote for him when he started working at PetSmart with me while we were dating; it wasn’t a love note, it wasn’t a list of things we were going to do when we started our life together as a married couple. It was notes I wrote for him on how to operate the cash register because I knew there was a distinct possibility that the guy training him wouldn’t train him correctly. I wrote it out of love, and he saved it out of love.
He gave me a card for our first anniversary–he’s not a card-giving type, and when he does give cards, he writes at the top the person he’s giving it to and signs his name at the bottom, but he knows I love cards so he got me one. The envelope is addressed to ‘My Baby’ and the front of the card reads: “Happy You and Me Day.” What he wrote inside is for my eyes only (get your minds out of the gutter, it’s nothing like that!) but he did write something, and I cried reading it. I recently came across it after celebrating our third anniversary (all of my cards staying in a box) and I put it in my purse. Because whenever I need a pick-me-up, I read it, because mine and Hub’s love for each other makes me happy.
Whenever I do something stupid, which may or may not result in a minor injury, Hub laughs at me and says, ‘Way to go, honey.’ And I scowl at him and call him a dick. But then we laugh together. And he checks to make sure I’m all right.
When Hub and I were living in our first apartment and he was working a second job delivering pizza, he brought me home breadsticks one night. There was a big hill that led from the stairs of the parking lot to our apartment. He was carrying the breadsticks in one hand and his cell phone in another, calling me to let me know he was coming down the hill and to unlock the door. I stepped onto the porch and watched him come down the hill. “I seeeeeee you,” I said, smiling because my love was finally home. Then, he slipped. Sideways. Which I didn’t think was possible. I couldn’t stop laughing. Even now, as I write this, I can’t stop laughing. It was such a sight. And through it all, he managed to keep the breadsticks in his hand and without them barely moving.
Yesterday, while moving some old furniture out, we made another funny love-filled moment. It was too heavy for me to help him with (I don’t have the best back, even at 24) so he was trying to move it across the grass in a very…awkward fashion. I sat in our car on the backseats we had put down waiting for him so I could pull it in while he pushed. But the whole time he was maneuvering this furniture across the grass and looking back at me to make sure he was on the right path to the car, I couldn’t stop laughing at how funny he looked. “I hate you,” he said, which only made me laugh harder. “You’re a dick,” he said. Again, more laughing.
At the end of the day, we lay in bed, surrounded by our new awesome furniture and fist-bumped at our immense coolness for having gotten so much done in one day.
That, to me, is love. Love is enjoying each other’s company, making fun of each other, laughing at the other when one of us does something stupid. And then cuddling up, talking about sports and who signed who, me getting him to read a funny blog or cartoon I found online, and him playing a song for me that he heard for the first time on the radio at work that day. Playing Madden on our PS3 and him yelling “Ha! Take that!” when I fumble or throw an interception. Him not calling when he leaves work because he wants to surprise me when he gets home, and getting mad at me when I come home from shopping and try to carry all the bags to the front door at once instead of asking him to come outside and help me.
We don’t lead the most exciting of lives. We’ve only been to a bar twice and both times was on our honeymoon (once was the bar in the hotel where he had our reception after all our guests had left and the second was because we wanted to go bowling but the lanes were closed so we figured we weren’t going to make the drive for nothing, let’s go to their bar.) We’ve gone to a few Yankees games and we’ve gone to the movies bunches of times, most of the times with Bud and his girlfriend. But the best times we have are the times where we’re at home planning our future together, making our future the present, and enjoying each other’s company.
That’s love. If you don’t have it in your life, go out and find it. It doesn’t have to be a significant other. It could be a parent, a friend, a cousin, a sibling. There’s someone out there who loves you and someone you love. Make memories with them. Save mementos if you feel so inclined. Don’t spend hundreds of dollars for a romantic night out when one of the best romantic nights can be done at home, ordering Chinese or pizza and playing video games all night or doing whatever it is that you like to do with your loved one.
And most of all, remember that you don’t have to limit your love to one person. Giving it out to more than one person does not diminish the love you have for the first person. The more love you give, the more you receive. And the best feeling in the world is giving and receiving love.