A Spirit of Receiving

In our world today, we are preoccupied with loss. When we evaluate our lives we do so with regret at the poor decisions we have made and the love we have lost because of it. For some, this becomes a way of life. Living in loss has an unfortunate way of perpetuating itself, however. When we live in loss our expectation is that everything we love will eventually be taken from us. This causes us to act in one of two ways; both equally destructive. When we expect the things we love in life to inevitably leave us, we often become detached. In an attempt to lessen the pain when the thing does finally disappear, we build a wall. This is the selfish form of this emotion. It is selfish because we shift our focus inwards and assume that we will eventually be hurt. In our assumption we create barriers between us and our loved ones. We never truly allow them in; we never let them to get to know us. Why would we, they will only leave us anyway? In so doing, however, we only end up pushing that loved one away. No matter how hard they try to connect to us, we will not allow it. We are too selfish to see that they are sincere. We only see the loss that we will eventually feel when they leave us. So, try as they might, eventually our loved one will tire of this battle to reach us. They will give up, and they will leave us. Just as we had imagined they would. But they did not leave us because they did not want to love us. They left us because we are living in loss and refused to allow them in. Loss creates more loss.

I mentioned a second negative form of this expression. Loss is not only expressed by shutting people out. Loss can also be expressed through an obsessive neediness. This expression leads to the same thing, however; more loss. When we live in loss, our expectation is that the things we love most in life will eventually leave us. When we have this expectation and we find something that we truly feel we cannot live without, we begin to act in a very unhealthy way. In our attempt to secure our love we go way overboard and instead freak our new love out. The amount of attention we shower upon them in our attempt to keep them interested only has the effect of pushing them away. This is the selfish form of our emotions. It is selfish because we are not taking our loved one’s feelings into consideration, only our own. Again our feeling of loss is reinforced. This time, we have pushed our loved one away by not allowing them the freedom to be themselves. We force our life upon them, and in the end we lose them. Loss creates more loss.

But loss has an equal and opposite expression of emotion. The spirit of receiving is another way to live our lives. If we live in the spirit of receiving our expectation is that we will always receive more love. This is the idea of inheritance. You receive love because you are somehow deserving of it. In families this idea flows most easily, although it is not the case in all families. Some families live in loss and are unable to express this. But many families know the idea of inherited love. Love that is not earned but simply given because you are family. Truly living in the spirit of receiving is understanding that all of humanity is your family. With this mentality, we give and receive our love freely with all those around us. When we live in this way, we will find that it also perpetuates itself. By living in the spirit of receiving, we live in balance. The spirit of receiving is a position of gratitude. It does not imply that we only receive. It implies an understanding that giving and receiving are in equal proportions when dealing with love. When we are able to balance the giving of love, with the receiving of love, we begin to live in the spirit of receiving. Notice earlier that the two forms of negatively expressing this emotion are not only imbalances in the receiving aspect, but are also imbalances in the giving aspect. In the first scenario, we build a wall around ourselves and refuse to give enough love. When we do not give, we do not receive. In the second scenario we go over board and love too intensely. This frightens away most balanced souls and again we find ourselves alone. Only when we balance our ability to give love freely to everyone are we able to start receiving it from everyone.

Loss is a wounded emotion. It is the assumption that we will never receive love in this life. It is the selfish form of our emotions because it assumes the worst in ourselves; that we are unworthy of love. When we live in loss we only create loss in our life. By never allowing anyone healthy into our lives, we eventually find ourselves surrounded with loss.

The spirit of receiving is a healthy emotion. It is the assumption that we deserve to be loved and that love will come naturally, so long as we love in return. In this form we express gratitude. We are grateful for the love we receive and we reciprocate to those around us. This in turn generates gratitude in those we love and they feel compelled to share their love with us. Gratitude perpetuates the receiving of love. When we live our life in balance, we are living our life with healthy emotions. Receiving love is as simple as giving it. But we must give it equally to all, not all of it to one person. When we share our love equally with everyone in our lives, we begin to notice that we are receiving love from everyone in our lives. Love perpetuates love, through the act of balanced receiving.

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