Existentialist, that’s what I believe I am! For those who don’t know what it means, I’m not going for dictionary meaning; I would like to define it in my own words.

“The realization of ‘existence of self’ by questioning the existence of every other thing and trying to find answers for the same in any way possible is known as EXISTENTIALISM.”

If you frequently question so much about your existence or existence of any other being, with the curiosity to find the answers for the same, then you are an existentialist. In this article, I’ll share my experiences about life that are mainly concerned with my existentialism.

I’m an observer; I observe people, processes, systems, actions, activities, crimes, talents, art, creativity, and everything from which I can extract something valuable. I try to learn from everything, everyone; even if something seems bad to others, it seems good to me. A simple thought and a little change of perspective has brought a great transformation in me and hence my life. I still remember when I was in high school and I used to ask questions (although I rarely asked subject related questions…..lol) that were never answered; not because they were very difficult to answer, but they were so weird to answer (as they said). Since, no one gave importance to my questions, I started ignoring them too; but I couldn’t! They were in my nerves, haunting me every time, distracting me from focusing unless answered. As I got promoted in this educational system, I entered the field of professionalism, ENGINEERING. A field, where everything should be practical, out of books, and created in the real world. But the word ‘practicality’ was extinct here. So, this brought in more questions…..actually a flood of weird questions! Woah….the wave was too gigantic to surf on!

As I entered my 2nd year, something from inside, told me to stop wandering on this endless road with no sign boards. Then came a day, when I ‘compiled’ all my courage, strengthened my will and decided not to follow the same path as others do. I decided to answer all those weird questions myself and in this growing curiosity, I found a solution….a medium. My curiosity kept telling me to look inside for answers. Soon, I realized that all those questions that I used to ask were not just questions; they were life changing realizations. These questions were somehow connected to ‘value of life’, ‘purpose of life’, ‘reason for existence’, ‘defining and creating beliefs’ and so on. All this time, I was struggling with something that was priceless, even more valuable than the most valuable thing on this planet (differs from person to person).

I found a way to adjust myself in this world and my world of curiosity. Then, I found a way to harness inner peace…….MEDITATION. Meditation made me realize many new things and sorted out many old beliefs. It gave me the opportunity, the energy to relate my realizations and my answers to the questions of this world, even in my subjects. Soon, I found a wonderful and amazing relation between everything that exists. The doubts in my subjects were now the doubts of my conscious. If somehow I can answer my conscious, my problems are solved in this world too. Singularity is what I saw deep within. Everything was related; I just had to find out how!

What earlier I experienced, was the beginning of a process, a process to realization of my existence in this world. Existentialism is what I live in today and I enjoy it more than anything else.  It all started with a spark of curiosity and today I’m living the happiest moments of my life. I know my purpose of existence, but with every new day, I realize something new and try to relate it with my earlier realizations. It’s like a chain; ending on SELF-AWAKENING, where a person will achieve the knowledge of ultimate truth. Currently, I’m in a process and every step of this process is bringing new excitements, new challenges and new adventures.

Through my experience, I would like to spread the message of awareness. People should be curious about things going around them. Some things demand reason, some things do not. Live your life for a purpose; a purpose not for telling it or showing it to the world, but only YOU. This is the way of life and this is how it is supposed to be, according to my beliefs. Your life depends on your beliefs; live well…..!!

©Varun K. Sharma