Week 7: GRATITUDE #2 — In spite of myself

Been having trouble with this one — though ordinarily, I practice gratitude with verve, vim, verily with VIGOR!! I’m just so tired of being grateful for things that I don’t really want. And, for not having the situations I want — for which I just know my senses will be extremely, radically, expressively, hyperbolically GRATITUDINOUS!! And I won’t whine. Really, I won’t.

But, then, that is living in the Future, which certainly denies the truth of the Now. And journeying toward mindfulness & wisdom as I mean to be doing precludes such indulgence. Back to this moment, I do feel gratitude, for many things, & I list them to myself frequently, lest I feel bereft, forlorn, missing out. Lest I seem UNgrateful

So, I’m getting a week behind in the 8 Week Challenge. But to that I say: It matters not. I’m thinking muchly, & deeply on these challenges. And because this past week or so, I have been indulging — one might say, wallowing in — other issues, my further gratitude essays are yet forthcoming. Today, the newspaper’s cryptoquote perfectly encapsulates one of the points raised in this week’s challenge though, that of being grateful for past traumas because of the compassion they’ve taught us:

You need bruises to know blessings.

Frances Shand Kydd

Ain’t that the truth! And, really — as I write this — I see that my recent delving into — one might say, wallowing in — various issues & character traits running through my life, has been about this very idea. Because of ‘flaws’ that have caused me repeated, long-term troubles, I have come to be very much kinder toward others. And veryVERY muchMUCH more compassionate toward, & patient with, the troubles other people create. Knowing I didn’t mean to create suffering, & didn’t want to, but maybe because of The Way I Am just could not avoid — has made me much gentler with others. For, is it possible that they too did not mean to, or want to create trouble?? Yes, of course, for this IS how it is with much of the junk we humans generate …… often, we just did not know how to not create it. Which is the very dynamic, observed within myself & within others, that has led me to my journey toward mindfulness & “fixing” my own mind. It’s the only really effective first step toward altering the multiverse. And I am very glad to Be Here, because I think creating a mindful mind makes a big difference — not just for myself, but on behalf of others too. The world CAN be made better than it is; changing how our minds work is what will make it possible.

And, with that, in spite of myself, I’ve stumbled right on into another essay for Week 7’s challenge! Gratitude, whew!