8 Week Challenge: Outward Compassion
When I set out on this part of the 8 Week Challenge, I actually wasn’t concerned about having nothing to write about at all. Outward Compassion is my thing. I’m still working on having Compassion for myself, but that’s another post ;). I don’t find Outward Compassion to be all that difficult. I make a conscious effort to not judge people, I put myself in the shoes of others, I picture things from other perspectives all the time. It’s the only way I can accept some of the horrible things that others do. I have to always remind myself that yes, what they did was horrible, but every person has a story and a path that lead them to where they are in their lives, and I can’t judge them for that. My intention in writing about Outward Compassion, was to take part in a debate while representing a side that I didn’t personally agree with. It soon became something entirely different.
Until recently, one of my hobbies was engaging in online debates. No, not as one of those trolls who starts arguments in comments on news articles. I actually sought out and joined an online debate forum. I used to go on there everyday and engage in some pretty lively debates. You’ll notice that I said “until recently”. I’ve actually noticed that the further my Journey to Love takes me, the less interest I have in engaging in these lively debates with others. Not because I don’t still like to debate, but because some of the debate tactics of others are some of the most unkind, unloving and disrespectful methods of communication I have ever encountered. Most people today seem to be rather rooted in either very Liberal or very Conservative soil, and their debate tactics reflect that. I, on the other hand, am firmly in the middle. I have some conservative views and I have some liberal views. Both of which will influence my debate arguments. This has gotten me into trouble on these debate forums. You see, most people will expect you to take a position that is either liberal or conservative, and prepare their mud slings to attack your political leanings, not your prepared arguments. I have found this to be the case in nearly every single debate I have been in. The topic will quickly go from taking sides about a particular current event, and devolve into criticizing someone for simply being a bleeding heart liberal or a die hard conservative.
So, as I said, I logged on to my debate forums this week with the intention of taking an opposite position than what I personally agree with. The topic is unimportant, because, like so many other debates, this one turned into a mudslinging contest within just the first ten posts. It didn’t take long for someone to notice my tendency to shine light on grey areas and jump on me for it. One person in particular started to make things very personal. She attacked my debate tactics, called me naive, and even pointed out that debating with me used to be much more fun for her before I got all “Lovey-dovey”. What started out as me taking part in a debate to try and see from the perspective of another, ended up with me doing just that. But instead of it being as part of the debate, I was now seeing things from the perspective of the other debater. Whereas once I would have become incredibly defensive, and perhaps started to sling some mud of my own, I tried to see where this woman was coming from. I may never know her personal story, but I know that she has one. I know that her cynical nature is a result of the life she has lived, and that I can’t worry about defending myself from her inaccurate assumptions of me, but instead have compassion for her and her situation. I, of course, did not say these things to her. She would have found that patronizing, I’m sure, which would not have helped matters at all. Instead, I thanked her for the learning opportunity, and bowed out gracefully from the debate. I haven’t been back since.
What are on those forums, and in fact, even what we see on a larger political scale, are no longer debates. They’re pissing contests. Who can be the loudest, the meanest and the best at tearing down the other side. I have learned that I can no longer engage in those kinds of debates. All that being said, I still Love me a good debate, so if any of my readers out there who are living a Life in Love know of any good debate forums that don’t devolve into SHTF scenarios, I’d love to hear about them. 🙂
Very thought provoking and eye opening post…I have to admit,I’m guilty of that type of “debate” my own self on occasions (was I not at least “dangerously close” with you on your very own post one day? embarrassed smilie inserted here)…and you’re correct (at least in my own case),the reasons I had sunk to that level of “debating” was based on experience on the times when my faith would come into the light of others online,I learned really quick that I “had to” either bow out,or take a strong offensive stance,sigh.
You’ve helped me remember I don’t always have to,since I began reading your blog (you still won’t convince me that my faith is wrong :p),and I’m appreciative for that,my friend :),and you’ve helped me to realise that the few acts of random kindness I tried to live by could have become more than just random acts,but more a lifestyle. Not to preach,but that’s what my Lord and Savior expects out of me and no less,anyways,right? 😉
The DC
I don’t think that it is ever a good idea for anyone to try and convince another that their faith is “wrong”. There is no such thing as right or wrong when it comes to beliefs. It’s what is right for you. Whatever brings you to your higher awareness is right. It’s when people try to brow beat others and belittle the beliefs of others that mankind runs into problems.
I’m glad that you found my post about debating and Outward Compassion thought provoking. You’re right, Love is a lifestyle, and by whichever means you come by it, be it Christ, Buddha or just self reflection, embracing the lifestyle is what is important.
Thank you,my friend. When I said that,it was tongue in cheek,a joke 😉 But yeah,I agree 100% 🙂
Steve
Some people are so insecure in their positions that to set forth anything new, is a threat. They will defend their position because without it, they do not know who they are. Confident people can hold two opposing ideas in their minds without succumbing to hostility. You are right to rid yourself of exposure to that. Who needs it?
I was very enlightened by this post. I too have been slung sideways over having an opinion and so I have my own blog. Everyone doesn’t have to agree but they do have to respect. Thank you for this post.
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How sad, and true, that so many are busy pissing. How inspiring that you look for the backstory, or at least operate on the assumption that there is one. I don’t know a recommendation for you, but I do, indeed, appreciate your concern, and your kindness in dealing with it. There are others like you out there — thank goodness!